19:45 Brescia v Inter Milan, Serie A, ESPN/HD
So the weekend of football kicks of with a clash between draw specialists, Brescia and... er... win specialists Inter. Only one winner there, then.
Saturday 12 March
12:45 Birmingham City v Bolton Wanderers, FA Cup Quarter Final, ESPN/HD
Despite the romance of the Cup it is hard to imagine that this is an welcome fixture for both clubs who have unsettled business in the Premier League.
17:15 Man Utd v Arsenal, FA Cup Quarter Final, ITV1/ HD
Personally, I'm sick to the back teeth of the both of these clubs, not to mention a portion of their respective fans trolling around Twitter, bitching about how badly treated they are by the media. We need another Vietnam to thin out their numbers.
17:30 Werder Bremen v Borussia Monchengladbach, Bundesliga, ESPN/HD
Was delighted to learn that a much used phrase by myself is not made up and is actually used in the German lexicon. Hence this match is a classic sechs punkter.
19:00 Real Madrid v Hercules, La Liga, Sky Sports 3
Jose Mourinho's Real take on Kevin Sorbo's Hercules. Well I had to get that gag in sooner or later.
19:45 Cesena v Juventus, Serie A, ESPN/ESPN HD
There's a Juve cafe bar in Rathbone Street, Central London where exiled fans of the Old Lady gather to do that funny hand gesture that Italians use when things are going badly and swear a lot. If Juve mess up again this weekend then the local A&E had best prepare themselves for a spate of sprained wrists.
21:00 Zaragoza v Valencia, La Liga, Sky Sports 3/3D
If La Liga's third placed team can't beat Schalke over two legs then La Liga is horrifically over rated. Presumably Valencia have enough nouse to beat fourth-bottom Zaragoza.
21:30 Santos v Botafogo, Brazilian League Football, Premier Sports
It's that start of the season feeling in Brazil. Mind you, from what I can work out, football is like their telenovellas: it never ends.
Sunday 13 March
06:00 Brisbane Roar v Central Coast Mariners, Hyundai A League Grand Final, Sky Sports 1/HD1
First plays second in the climax of what has been a difficult season Down Under, financially. Brisbane are the heavy favourites after coming into this match on the back of a 27 (TWENNY-SEVAN) game unbeaten streak. I'm sticking a couple of quid on the other fellas.
11:30 AC Milan v Bari, Serie A, ESPN/HD
It's Scudetto or bust for the Rossonieri after getting knocked out by Harry's All-Stars in the Chumps League during the week. Bottom club Bari should prove a flimsy barrier.
13:15 Dundee Utd v Motherwell, Scottish Cup Quarter Finals, Sky Sports 1/HD1
With only four games to go before the Clausura, both teams are cutting it a bit fine if they want to avoid the cut.
14:00 AS Roma v Lazio, Serie A, ESPN/HD
Definitely the choice of the discerning viewer. Two big city rivals seperated by five points and two places in the league. Lazio should edge it with the bookies but Roma are finding themselves after Ranieri's departure, in the League at least.
14:00 Stoke City v West Ham, FA Cup Quarter Final, ITV1/ITV1 HD
I understand that the home side have yet to fill their allocation. Can't blame them really. After all, it's only the Quarter Final of the Cup.
15:30 Inverness CT v Celtic, Scottish Cup Quarter Finals, Sky Sports 1/HD1
They'll be packed in at the Cally Stadium for this one. As always, on paper the Glasgow club will be favourites but as we know, they have come a cropper in recent Cup campaigns.
17:15 Man City v Reading, FA Cup Quarter Final, ESPN/ESPN HD
The conquerors of Everton travel to the vanquishers of Villa's reserves. Both teams are in good nick (although City lost in Europe on Thursday) and Reading are turning into a proper Cup side. Got the makings of an unlikely classic.
18:00 Villarreal v Sporting, La Liga, Sky Sports 1/HD1
Plenty of time for the Yellow Submarine to recover from their 3-2 Europa League ding-dong with Leverkusen. A win keeps a firm cushion over Bilbao in fifth place. All being well, Villareal will be back in the Champions League next season.
19:00 Mirasol v Corinthians, Brazilian League Football, Premier Sports
The away side welcome back Portuguese international ringer Liedson after a glittering career in the Motherland.
19:45 Parma v Napoli, Serie A, ESPN/HD
Dropped points against Milan and Brescia are putting the skids on Napoli's title tilt. If they can't beat Parma at home then they don't deserve to win the title.
20:00 Sevilla v Barcelona, La Liga, Sky Sports 1/HD1
So long as Barca can defend corners, they should be fine.
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